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Wedding planning

Our Story: DrNickMdiv 5th Anniversary

/ Nandy Heule / Leave a comment

In summer of 2019, my partner and I were sitting in our living room, debating if it would be worthwhile to start my own small business.

We just picked a name out of the hat! Dr.Nick Mdiv. seemed like a fun business name. I had just completed a PhD that spring. Doing so had been my capstone career project! Next, when my spouse registered my website domain name, she landed on DrNickMdiv.org. (The “.org” URL extension is often used by non-profit groups.)

“Nick,” she said, “You’re not a charity, but mostly you will be providing a community service.” I agreed.

Just a few months later, the world shut down due to Covid 19. My phone started ringing as deeply disappointed couples saw their wedding plans disintegrate and scrambled to find alternative ways to get officially married. In short, weddings in a park, on a boat, in backyards, outside in the middle of winter, with lots of guests on Zoom from around the world — a lot of these ceremonies became uniquely memorable and lovely.

Now five years later, including a move to Ottawa in 2023 to be closer to my grandkids, hundreds of wedding couples have placed their trust in me to be their wedding officiant. Likewise, I feel honored by the dozens of families who have selected me as their funeral celebrant. Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined my DrNickMdiv project would grow and flourish as it has.

Thank you for the opportunity to work with you! I’m offering a 15% discount on all wedding services provided in July and August this year to celebrate my 5 years in business. Give me a shout any time!

How do I know if my Officiant is legit?

/ Nandy Heule / Leave a comment

Sometimes couples confide to me that they are anxious about an officiant’s legitimacy. It’s a good thing to check out. After all, if your officiant isn’t officially registered with the Province of Ontario, your wedding papers are invalid. Also, the province requires your officiant to keep careful records in a registration book obtained by your officiant from the province of Ontario. You have every right to confirm your process. Don’t hesitate to contact me with any questions. I’m happy to assist without further obligations. I work with couples throughout the Ottawa Valley, including Ottawa, Kanata, Orléans, Barrhaven, Wakefield, Chelsea and beyond. Also read my blog post on living in Ontario but getting married in a Quebec venue.

Here’s a quick way to check if your officiant is registered and can legally officiate at your weddings:

  • Visit this website. Scroll down and you will see an Excel document. It lists all the officiants currently licensed by the Province of Ontario.
  • Download this list of registered officiants. Search for an officiant’s name. (For example, when you search for “Overduin”, you will find me on it. There is currently also another Overduin on the list, one of my nephews!)
  • If your officiant is on the list you are sure he or she is legitimate and can sign your documents so you are legally married.

There are more than 20,000 registered officiants in Ontario. Each officiant gets assigned a license number by the province. This license number isn’t on the Excel sheet. I’ve had mine for many years now. But I don’t know where you can find the evidence of that. In any case, it doesn’t matter.

A happy day in Hyde Park, Toronto

The Excel sheet will confirm whether someone is currently licensed by the Province of Ontario. So be sure to check the Officiant list if you are feeling hesitant. You deserve the best possible treatment on your wedding day!

Don’t hesitate to contact me at NickOverduin@gmail.com to learn more about my services for classic weddings, signing legal paper work, elopements and private ceremonies, destination weddings and re-commitment ceremonies.

Six Key Tasks for a Celebrant

/ nickoverduin / Leave a comment

A Celebration of Life can be casual or formal. Guests can arrive in jeans. Or they can be dressed in formal black attire.  It can be in person, on Zoom, or some combination. There’s no “good” or “bad.”  

However, an end-of-life celebration does need some organizing in advance to avoid confusion or even hurt feelings. Everyone in attendance needs to feel they understand what to expect. Family dynamics combined with grief can be stressful enough.

A celebrant is a trusted facilitator during a funeral or memorial. The celebrant is the host you appoint to help those gathered follow your programme. It can be very short (15 min.) or relatively lengthy (90 minutes and up). But, there needs to be a plan. The celebrant can help you draft this programme.

Six Key Tasks for Your Celebrant

  1. Offer words of welcome and provide an overview of how the event will unfold.
  2. Introduce speaker(s) who offer a eulogy.
  3. Facilitate symbolic practices such as lighting candles, releasing balloons, laying flowers, and religious or cultural traditions.
  4. Facilitate an “open microphone” when speakers briefly share a special memory.
  5. Thank everybody for coming (or introduce an appointed family member to do.)
  6. Announce next steps to ensure all guests feel confident that they can also leave appropriately. (e.g. where to gather for refreshments or to encourage the signing of a guest book upon leaving, etc.)

Your celebrant will meet with you prior to the funeral or celebration of life to discuss your family’s ideas. Many families add other elements: music, singing, “words of wisdom” (a poetry reading, spiritual or religious texts), or a movie about the deceased person’s life. Families often wish to engage grandchildren if applicable. The time to discuss such ideas is prior to the event so all gathered can focus on celebrating a life well lived.

If you want to learn more about the tasks fulfilled by a funeral director and how they are different from your celebrant, click here. You can read more about my own values, bio, and contact information.

Nick Overduin works with funeral homes in Ottawa, Kanata, Barrhaven, Kemptville, Wakefield and throughout the Ottawa Valley. He also works with families who plan a memorial some time after the passing of a loved one and without further involvement of a funeral home. His is happy to talk with you for an initial consultation without further obligations. Contact information.

Why you don’t want your Celebrant to cry…

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Why do officiants need to remain professional? Or in other words, would you appreciate a crying, sobbing funeral director? Can an officiant show his or her emotions at a Celebration of Life?

First and foremost, families expect the persons they retain to plan and guide a memorial to care — a lot. But that’s not the same as showing one’s own raw emotions.

A few years ago, one of my friends and colleagues had to conducted the funeral for a 17-year old teenager. That’s a tough assignment for anybody and everybody involved.

At the event, my dear colleague stood in front of a crowd of over 1,000 people. So many showed up! Everybody wanted to demonstrate their support for the family of that young man.

Emotions ran high and it felt like all 1,000 people in attendance may be on the brink of a collective breakdown at any time, he told me later. The empathy for the teen’s distraught family was palpable.

I asked my colleague if he himself broke down at any point. I would certainly would have understood if so.

“No,” he said. He added, “Me breaking down would have been unkind. Everybody needed me to stay a little bit, even if just a little bit, in control.”

I agree. Kindness, respect, and even love for grieving families, asks professionals to stay professional. It’s our job to keep the focus on helping others to grieve. Not because we don’t care, but precisely because we do care.

I work with families and funeral homes in Ottawa, Kanata, Barrhaven, Orléans, Kemptville, Wakefield, and throughout the Ottawa Valley. You can find my contact information here and I’m happy to provide an initial consultation without further obligations.

Kids at funerals

/ nickoverduin / Leave a comment

In the course of my career, I’ve been asked repeatedly if young children should attend a Celebration of Life or funeral.

Ultimately, that’s a decision only a parent can make. It will depend on the maturity of the child, his or her relationship to the person who passed away, and if any other children will be at the funeral.

If at all possible, I suggest it is important to ensure a very young child has somebody to “watch over him or her” during the memorial. Maybe a family friend or an older cousin. Preferably someone with a bit more distance to the deceased.      

Some years ago, I officiated at a funeral for a community leader who was widely loved and respected. A large crowd gathered in his honour. At least 400 people filled the church.

On the front bench sat a little grandson, about 12 years old. From the beginning of the service to the very end, he was quietly sobbing inconsolably. The dissonance between the wonderful notes of honour, love and praise shared about the grandfather and this young child’s sorrow was difficult for me, as the officiant, to watch. Yet, in this case, this boy was given the opportunity to cry for a man he adored and loved. The funeral will likely be a memory he will carry with him likely for the rest of his life. I have every reason to believe it will be a memory he will cherish